Erin Wawok: Living Proof

There are lots of stories floating around about how LSquare Music has made a difference in people’s lives, but I’ve felt a need to be more specific with our listeners and give them a real life example of heart change that is taking place because of God’s work through LSM (I just made that up… do you like it?) So, today I’m going to tell you the story of how a certain someone has seen change in their life, and that person is ME!

I have a pretty tame (quite possibly lame) background. I grew up in a Christian family, spent several years attending a Christian school, and went to a Christian college. I’ve never lived an outwardly rebellious lifestyle, and most of the time I’ve cared about how my actions would affect the rest of my life. At a young age, I understood that I was imperfect and chose to believe that Christ’s death and resurrection was an intentional act that covered the cost of all of sins. I believe very strongly that once God has called us into His family, He does not let us go. However, I have recently experienced some deep and very necessary doubt about how my life functions and why I think it’s so important to be such a “goody two shoes”. I mean, I’m not really that good and I am not afraid to push boundaries, but I really do (or did) believe that being a better person is what God truly expects and that he’s a little disappointed with me basically all the time. I know God has not abandoned me and doesn’t love me any less, but that isn’t how I usually feel, ya know?

When my husband and I started attending CCC, I could tell that this church would be a great place to sort through this junk I’ve been carrying. Slowly, I am opening up those scary little dark corners of my mind, and I know it wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for the stories you are bringing to LSM. Like in song #5 (which will be posted on the website soon!!!) where someone questioned the ability to live an ordinary life and still be a true Christ follower. I am so privileged to work with the LSM team each week, listening to many of your stories and being reminded that I am not alone in my questioning. My part in the music is small (I’ve never even written a song, for Pete’s sake!), but I am thrilled to sing my little background vocal parts a million times because it is changing my mind about what God thinks of me. While I don’t have a victorious conclusion about how God freed me from my doubt and now I’m “cured”, I’m making progress. There are less days that I feel like I haven’t lived up to my Christian potential, and best of all, I’m understanding that is not the point. What a powerful concept!

So in case you weren’t sure, LSM is changing people’s lives for real. If you have some thoughts jumbling around in your heart and need to be heard, please contact us! Obviously, people like me need to hear what you’re going through to make sense of our own stories. You won’t regret it!